Welcome to #31daysofselfcare2018
Release! This may be my favorite word for January 2018. I began the year releasing a toxic area of my life and that in turn allowed all kinds of happy healing. You see, I strongly believe that “happy” is something we are. When we release limiting beliefs that are most often driven by believing what other people say about us, we open our lives to more possibilities. How does that work?
Limiting beliefs are those things we carry as baggage through our life that blocks us from other opportunities. I think they are actually valuable if we can acknowledge them and heal them. It isn’t easy sometimes to figure out what those blocks are. Our minds tend to put them way in the back corner so they don’t hurt us. In the long run, the time comes around that we have to address them whether we want to or not. And often that moment comes at the most unexpected time.
Last week I was driving down I-95 and all of a sudden I remembered a traumatic, childhood moment tied to my father. What triggered it was that the universe thought I was ready and indeed, it has been a huge gift.
I’ve only come to realize through my efforts to live well, that my parents believed lies my sister told about me because she worked on them behind my back. Know that my sister was eight years older. I’ve given her many opportunities for healing, but now I don’t allow her to be a part of my life. I do send her love and light.
This experience with my father was triggered by my sister lying about me to my parents. I don’t need to remember what it was. In fact, I don’t think I was ever told. Seemingly without provocation, my father came after me with his belt. I remember cowering and watching him remove it. I was absolutely terrified. Even today as I write, tears flow to continue my healing and wash away my heart pain.
He didn’t hit me. My mother stopped him, but she didn’t defend me or console me. I have forgiven all of this event. Why? Because it’s my mission to heal those things of my ancestors that need healing. It changes everything. Even things I don’t see and feel.
Releasing this memory brought great insight. I had been praying daily to unveil what was blocking me from being the person I am meant to be.
Here’s the light bulb lesson. That experience with my father, who passed away a few months later. (I believe his not feeling well triggered the experience because he had never hit me before and never after. We learned after he passed that he had had several heart attacks and had not told anyone.) was the day I gave up my power and gave it to my sister and everyone else I have come in contact with. I wouldn’t stand up for myself and believed that I must deserve people being mean to me. I’ve been blocked from feeling completely happy because I always was afraid that even if I was happy, something or someone would steal it from me as my sister and parents did that day. You see how “our words and actions echo through eternity”?
Well, my system of release in the car was NOT pretty. I yelled to the heavens at him. I told him how much hurt our family had been caused because of his actions. I banished him from being in my life. But it was a very short, angered moment. I released anger that I didn’t know I had. Or rather, I had anger that had been bubbling up but I hadn’t uncovered the root cause.
I spiritually brought him back to me and said we need to work together to heal our family and by doing that we will heal all that has gone before and all that will come to be. I told him that my love is unconditional and because of this, there is no fear, which leaves room for expansion of all hearts. You see, our opportunities for healing are ever present.
This is why the universe kept this block until I was ready. Imagine how limited my life would have been had I consciously carried that memory around with me. I needed to have grown enough to process and understand the root cause, know how to heal all of the players (if only in my heart) and that I would be able to channel my anger into a loving, compassionate response. I forgave my father through all eternity. And with that release I have found the “happy” piece of me that was missing. I understand how my power was stolen and how important it is for me to share my story now and encourage other people to find their “block” and release it.
None of the following is easy, but each accomplished is rewarding in of itself.
- Forgive parents and friends – any relationship that needs healing.
- Write a letter to anyone to whom you need to express your feelings. Write it again and again until you can write with love and compassion. Shred or burn each one and as you do offer mercy and forgiveness.
- Release negativity anywhere it exists. It serves no one any long-term purpose.
- Release people from your life who repeatedly hurt you. If you wish, let them know how they hurt in a loving way and offer prayers for healing. Heal yourself and let them go if the response is not positive. We are not responsible for other people’s healing. Only for those actions that come from ourselves.
- Release the old and set boundaries. Anne Katherine’s books are helpful.
- Release anger and pick your battles. Not everything is for us to fight or understand. Fight for yourself and family, but don’t fight.
- Release fear and invite trust and hope.Trust your intuition.
Through all of our releasing experiences – know we are loved and well cared for. We matter through all eternity.